Teresa Pfaff CPC, BCMMHC.
“I just can’t stop seeing that in my head.”
Those were the words of a 13-year-old client I met with last week. She had been scrolling through TikTok, looking for a moment of escape—watching adorable cat videos to give her brain a break from the weight of homework. But that innocent scroll took a turn she never expected. Without warning, her feed flooded with violent clips from recent news stories—real people being attacked, hurt, and even killed.
It wasn’t movie violence. It was real. Raw. Unfiltered.
And it shook her to her core.
She described feeling frozen and nauseated, unable to look away and unsure how to make sense of what she saw. Well-meaning adults told her to “just stop thinking about it,” but that’s not how trauma works. The images replayed in her mind like an unwanted movie reel—especially when she least expected it. During an important math test, one of those mental flashbacks hit her hard. Her body went into panic mode—heart racing, stomach twisting, hands shaking. She blanked on everything she’d studied for.
This story isn’t rare anymore.
In today’s world, even the most protected kids are only a few clicks—or scrolls—away from being exposed to violence, tragedy, or disturbing content online. Our children’s developing brains simply aren’t wired to process the flood of graphic media that’s now part of modern life. But as parents, mentors, and caregivers, there are real ways we can help them navigate this digital chaos and regain a sense of peace.
1. Validate First, Then Guide
When a child shares that they’ve seen something disturbing, resist the urge to minimize it with phrases like “just don’t think about it” or “it’s not that bad.” What they need first is validation.
Try saying:
- “That sounds like it was really scary to see.”
- “Your reaction makes sense. Anyone would feel shaken after that.”
Validation tells their brain they’re safe and understood—which begins to quiet the fear response. Once their emotions have a name, healing can begin.
2. Explain What’s Happening in Their Brain
Kids often feel confused about why they can’t “just move on.” A simple, age-appropriate explanation can help:
“When we see something scary, our brain goes into protection mode. It’s like a fire alarm that won’t stop ringing. Your brain keeps replaying what you saw because it’s trying to make sure you stay safe.”
Normalizing their reaction gives them back a sense of control—it turns a mysterious, overwhelming experience into something they can understand.
3. Limit Exposure—But Don’t Avoid the Conversation
While we can’t bubble-wrap our kids from every disturbing headline, we can create structure and safety around how they encounter media. Encourage regular “tech breaks” and use filters or parental controls when possible.
But here’s the key: don’t just block—talk.
Ask:
- “What did you see today that made you feel something—good or bad?”
- “If something online ever feels too heavy or scary, can you come to me?”
Creating this safe dialogue ensures you remain their go-to voice instead of the internet becoming their teacher.
4. Use Grounding Techniques
When those unwanted images replay, kids need tools to bring themselves back to the present moment. Teach simple grounding exercises like:
- 5-4-3-2-1 Technique: Name 5 things you can see, 4 you can touch, 3 you can hear, 2 you can smell, and 1 you can taste.
- Deep Breathing: Breathe in for 4 seconds, hold for 4, exhale for 6.
- Movement: A quick walk, stretching, or petting a family dog can help reset their nervous system.
These small actions tell the brain: “I’m safe right now.”
5. Replace the Images with Hope
Darkness leaves a mark—but so does light. Encourage your kids to intentionally replace disturbing imagery with scenes that restore their peace.
That could mean watching a favorite uplifting movie, drawing something beautiful, spending time in nature, or praying together.
If your family has a faith foundation, remind your child that God promises peace that surpasses understanding. Philippians 4:7 says, “And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
Helping your child anchor to hope doesn’t erase what they saw—but it gives them a firm place to stand while they heal.
6. Model Healthy Media Habits
Our kids watch how we handle our screens. When we constantly consume bad news or replay viral tragedies, they pick up the message that this is normal. Be intentional about your own media diet. Let them see you turn off your phone, pray over troubling news, or choose uplifting stories instead.
When parents model calm and discernment, kids learn how to protect their peace too.
7. Know When to Get Help
If your child’s sleep, appetite, grades, or social life are being affected for more than a couple of weeks, it may be time to bring in professional support. Counselors trained in trauma and anxiety can help your child process what they’ve seen in a safe and healing way.
At LF3 Love Factor, we see this often—kids and teens wrestling with emotional overload from the digital world. The good news? Healing happens. With the right tools, time, and connection, those painful images fade and peace returns. We help families rebuild resilience, faith, and heart connection—even in a world filled with chaos.
Final Thought
We can’t always control what our kids see—but we can help them shape how they process it. When we combine understanding, faith, and presence, we give our children more than just coping skills. We give them courage.
And one day, they’ll remember that when the world showed them violence, fear, and confusion, you showed them peace, love, and hope instead.
