Suicide Sucks — But There Is Hope

-Teresa Pfaff, CPC, BCMHC. | LF3 Love Factor

Let’s be real — suicide sucks.

It sucks the life out of the one who dies by their own hand. And it sucks the life, the breath, and so much joy out of those left behind to survive the aftermath — wrestling with grief, guilt, shame, and questions that may never have answers.

For those left behind, there are the what ifs and if only, the sleepless nights and the quiet moments where the pain feels louder than anything else.

But here’s what I want to say to you: There is hope. There is healing. You don’t have to stay stuck in that dark place.

A Personal Story — The First Loss That Changed Everything –

I’ll never forget the morning when a police officer, accompanied by our family doctor, knocked on our door to tell my mother that my father’s body had been found.

As the officer began to speak, our doctor rushed past him just in time to catch my mom as she fainted from the shock.

I was seven years old. And though that was almost sixty years ago, I remember it like it was yesterday.

Sadly, this isn’t where my story with suicide ends. Just three months ago, my son called to tell me that my grandson’s 12-year-old stepbrother was gone. Another young life lost. Another family left to pick up the pieces.

Suicide Isn’t as Rare as It Once Was — And That Should Break All of Our Hearts –

When I was a child, suicide felt like a rare tragedy. Today, it’s one of the leading causes of death, not only among adults but also adolescents and even children as young as eight years old.

Yes, the statistics are overwhelming. But if you’ve been impacted by suicide, you know statistics don’t help. Love does. Connection does. Hope does.

The Silence That Almost Took Me, Too –

When my dad died, no one talked about it. It was as though his death got swept under a giant rug, never to be mentioned again. But what you bury doesn’t go away — it grows roots.

By age 14, crushed by depression and heartache over a breakup, I attempted suicide myself. Thankfully, I survived — but no one noticed, and life just rolled on.

Fast forward a few years, and I found myself in a codependent, chaotic marriage to an addict, pregnant with my third child and desperate for answers. Why did my life feel like it was spiraling out of control?

Then a friend made an appointment for me with her pastor. And that moment changed everything!

Finding Healing — and a God Who Never Let Go –

Through that caring pastor, I was introduced to Jesus — a loving Savior and a Heavenly Father who would never leave or forsake me.

I also found people with “skin on” — a church family, counselors, and friends who loved me back to life. People who listened, cried, prayed, and sat with me in the mess.

That connection helped saved me.

And it became the reason I eventually became a pastoral counselor and board certified master mental health coach — because I don’t want anyone to walk this road alone.

What I’ve Learned: Connection Saves Lives –

If I could shout one thing from the rooftops, it would be this: Connection is key to preventing suicide.

Especially for our kids and teens, connection to loving, safe adults is essential. Research shows that when teens feel connected to their parents, suicidal behavior decreases — across every culture, every study.

Our kids today are facing unimaginable levels of stress. They need strong connections to build the resilience and self-worth that protect them.

Practical Ways to Connect (Even When It’s Hard) –

Here are a few ways to start:

1. Be fully present.

Put down the phone, turn off distractions, and look them in the eyes.

2. Listen to understand, not to fix.

Reflect back what you hear: “What I’m hearing you say is… Is that right?” And if they say no — try again.

3. Enter their world.

Care about what they care about — even if it’s video games, memes, or music you don’t get.

4. Choose connection over correction — every time.

Before you try to fix or argue their point of view, let them feel fully heard.

5. Ask the hard questions. 

Don’t be afraid to ask, “Have you had thoughts about dying or suicide?” Asking won’t put ideas in their head — but **it can open a door for life-saving conversations**.

6. Remind them there’s hope.

Teens live in a world of “Now” and “Not Now.” Help them see a future:

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord. “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” — Jeremiah 29:11 

If You’re Struggling, Please Reach Out –

If this hits close to home — whether for you, your child, or someone you love — **don’t go silent. Don’t go alone. Reach out.**

Because no matter how dark it feels right now:

💛 You are not alone.

💛 You are deeply loved.

💛 There is hope, and there is a future.

If you need someone to listen or resources for help, please don’t hesitate to reach out to a trusted friend, pastor, counselor, or hotline. Dial 988 from your phone to share what’s on your heart now.

Let’s be people who see, who listen, who love well, and who choose connection over silence.

Because love heals, connection saves lives, AND hope is never out of reach.