Divorce Or Stay? How To Decide On Your Marriage

Almost every couple has complexities in their relationship, so choosing divorce or staying is complex and personal. The decision needs careful consideration, deep analysis of the relationship, and an assessment of the current status of the relationship. 

The tough analysis of the situation, finding the reason behind unhappiness or how to improve, needs time, effort, and a complex process. One of the case studies of the census shows that the divorce rate has been estimated at 0.18%, but it has increased in the last five years. However, it is less than the ratio of the happy and neutral couples.

In the ups and downs of life, it’s our decision how to handle them. Here we discuss the couple’s life problems and solutions to live a happy life. 

Look at the following procedure before making the final decision about whether to stay in a relationship or get divorced. 

To decide whether to stay in a marriage or end it is one of the toughest decisions for anyone who faces it. For many, the decision includes fear, like being dependent on others, financial issues, making wrong decisions, and the pressure of society.

At this time, you should observe your feelings, which are unclear and confusing, so there is no need to struggle with the decision.

Reasons To Consider Getting Divorced

Some common reasons that cause divorce are lack of trust, emotional attachment, physical abuse, and emotional or physical distance from your partner, which can lead to divorce.

Continuous Lack Of Trust

Trust is the main pillar of the relationship, so once it has gone, it never comes again. So, trust each other fully. If there is no trust in their relationship, it will end. If the relationships last over time, they can produce many complexities.

So it is necessary to end it where Trust is zero.

Lack Of Financial Support

There is no support to pay the bills, or the habit of taking loans, and basic needs are not fulfilled here. And there is no financial support from your partner for the kids’ education and other needs, so leave it now if you are a financially independent person.

Violence Or Abuse

If your partner abuses you emotionally, physically, such as hitting, slapping, yelling, or using harsh words to intimidate or hurt you, it becomes unbearable.

At this time, you need to separate from each other and don’t stay where your value is zero.

Constant Unresolved Conflicts

This means frequent issues that remain frequent arguments or disagreements that never get solved. Over time, there are no results of these arguments, which causes disturbance of mental health and frustration. So get divorced here to avoid further problems.

Emotional or Physical distance

This happens when partners stop connecting emotionally, such as a lack of communication, sharing feelings, and not showing care and feeling to each other, which can lead to divorce. The same lack of physical distance occurs here, such as less time spent in intimacy, no time spent together, and avoiding closeness. 

Infidelity

In this era, types of infidelity are also different, like emotional means that those emotions you share with you now share with a third person, like having secret online relationships that betray trust.

Lack Of Commitment

In a married life, this means one or both partners are not making efforts to maintain a healthy relationship. One of them may avoid their responsibility, not prioritize their relationship, and indecision about the future and emotional withdrawal are the main causes that may lead to divorce.

If you don’t want to get a divorce and remain in a relationship, then this is for you, which may help you a lot by improving yourself and focusing on yourself.

Intimacy

Intimacy refers to the closeness and connection of both partners physically and emotionally. It helps both of them feel loved. So there are different types of intimacy, such as emotional intimacy, which involves sharing feelings and thoughts, and intellectual intimacy, which consists of discussing ideas and sharing feelings.

Balancing Responsibilities

Fulfilling the requirements of your partner and commitments that you made at the time of your marriage can help you live a happy life. Taking care of your kids and fulfilling their responsibilities makes your married life happier.

Effective communication skills

By making your communication skills strong, you can live a happy life by speaking in a calm tone and avoiding harsh language. Discuss every issue, even the smallest things that may cause happiness for both of you.

Emotional connection

In this way, you have to make an effort to share your feelings with your partner. The question raised here is, with whom can we connect emotionally?

  • Make them feel safe.
  • Be mature
  • Build Trust
  • Please pay attention to what they are saying

Shared Goals And Values

Discuss your daily routine with each other. What brings happiness to your day? Make a moment special by enjoying coffee or tea. Share your thoughts and your goals with your partner.

If you are wrong, be sincere and help them, and encourage the ideas that are shared.

Personal Growth

Pay attention to the talks and create a friendly environment in which both of you can grow, where you can observe yourself. Sometimes, we may be victims of childhood trauma, like seeing our parents’ conflicts, which may remain in our minds.

So, personal growth is necessary. Look at yourself. Are you overthinking or imagining it?

Talk To Your Family

Talk to your family or someone close to you and discuss your issue. It is noted that those who share their problem with others remain happy in their life. So get as many positive changes in yourself as possible.

Children’s Well-Being

Taking care of your children is not just a responsibility, but it is a piece of the heart. Children benefit from a healthy,  harmonious home, which helps them to feel secure and develop positively.

Seeking Help

It means taking help from parents, friends, or going for proper therapy, which helps you a lot to get rid of your complexities and all the troubles of life. Maybe they will suggest a psychologist or any treatment you need.

  • Firstly, focus on yourself. Maybe you need a little bit of self-testing to make you happy in your married life.
  • Try to secure your relationship if there is no abuse, support is present, and some complexities are temporary.
  • A little effort makes your relationship secure and strong, and makes your life happy.
  • If your partner uses harsh words, yells at you, and offers no financial support, get rid of him.
  • He hurts you like you are sleeping with you, criticizes you without any reason, so get a divorce and separate.
  • If you try your best to secure your relationship, but nothing happens, then separate from him right now.
  • If your partner doesn’t respect you, you need to correct them/If no results occur, then get a divorce.

Deciding whether to divorce or stay in a marriage is never simple; it’s deeply personal and full of emotions, financial, and family considerations. Staying together and rebuilding your trust and relations gives time to each other and preserves family stability.

On the other hand, divorce brings freedom, the possibility of growing in the healthiest environment, brings joy, and also develops your mental health in case you have been in a toxic relationship. So, analysing your own relationship is super important before making any decision. 

Furthermore, we recommend that you get professional help, a relationship expert, talking to your elders, senior family members, or thinking of your children(if any) can help you make the right decision. 

Can love return after betrayal in marriage?

Yes — love can return after betrayal in marriage, but it’s not easy. It depends on both partners’ willingness to heal.

How can I rebuild my marriage after a broken Trust?

NO, Trust is the pillar of any relationship; once it has gone, it can’t come again.

What should I do if I feel ignored in my marriage?

If your partner constantly ignores you, try to get attention. If no positive results occur, then get separated.

Is it better to divorce or stay unhappily married?

Whether to choose divorce or stay unhappily married is a complex decision. If you have issues like conflicts, a lack of communication, or even abuse, then divorce will be a better option.

What is the 3 3 3 rule for marriage?

It means that we spend 3 minutes every day in meaningful connection in which no distraction occurs.
Just the two of you spent 3 hours on a date or quality time.
Take a 3-day period for a short trip, vacation.

Who loses most in divorce?

Both of them face issues at the same time, so both partners’ losses are equal. If a woman does not earn, she might go through financial losses as well. 

How to make the right decision for marriage?

It can be personal and emotional. You should know the future goals of each other, respect each other, and communication should be strong.

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Farhan Taimoor