-Matthew Rowe, Ph.D., CPC, BCMHC
Somewhere between untangling Christmas lights that absolutely were not tangled last year and stepping on a Lego in the dark at 2:00 a.m., it hits us again… Christmas is here. With Christmas comes the familiar mix of joy, chaos, sugar cookies, missing pieces, loud laughter, awkward silences, and that one relative who insists Die Hard is a Christmas movie (maybe it is, maybe it isn’t).
But beneath the wrapping paper and the playlists, Christmas carries a meaning far deeper than we sometimes allow ourselves to slow down and feel. At its core, Christmas is not about perfection. It’s about presence.
A Savior Arrived… in the Middle of the Mess
The story of Christmas doesn’t begin with calm, quiet, and order. It begins with disruption.
A teenage girl receives news that will change her life forever. A young man wrestles with fear, confusion, and obedience. A long journey ends not in a warm home, but in a borrowed stable. No room at the inn. No perfectly curated moment. Just hay, animals, exhaustion… and heaven breaking into earth.
God didn’t wait for things to be neat and tidy before He showed up. “He came to that which was His own…” (John 1:11)
Christmas reminds us that God steps into the mess… not away from it. And honestly? That should bring incredible comfort to families like ours.
Family: God’s Original Context for Love
Family has always been central to God’s design. From the very beginning, God chose relationship as the way love would be learned, tested, and passed down. Christmas didn’t arrive through a palace, it arrived through a family.
Mary and Joseph who are expecting a child… a real family with real stress, real fear, real responsibility, and real faith. Think about that for a second because it really matters, because it tells us something important:
God works through imperfect families.
Not the Instagram-ready ones, not the ones who always get it right, or the ones with matching pajamas and zero emotional baggage. He works through us.
The Table Matters More Than the Tree
If you really think about it, some of the most meaningful Christmas moments don’t happen under the tree. They happen around the table.
– Stories get retold (again).
– Kids interrupt (again).
– Someone laughs so hard they snort (again).
In those moments… ordinary, imperfect, loud – connection is happening.
Family is the classroom where love is practiced. It’s where forgiveness is learned. Where patience is stretched. Where grace is either given… or needed… often both. That’s not accidental, that’s spiritual formation.
Jesus Didn’t Just Come For Families—He Came Into One Jesus could have arrived any way He wanted. Lightning. Trumpets. Glory. Instead, He chose vulnerability. He chose dependence. He chose bedtime routines, scraped knees, obedience to parents, shared meals, and years of quiet faithfulness before public ministry ever began.
Why? Because God wanted to redeem family from the inside out. Christmas whispers this truth: God values relationship over performance.
When Christmas Feels Heavy
For some, Christmas doesn’t feel warm… it feels heavy.
Empty chairs.
Unspoken tension.
Marriages under strain.
Kids who are hurting.
Parents who are tired.
If that’s you, hear this gently: You are not failing Christmas. You are living in the very space where Christ entered the world. “The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” (John 1:5) Jesus didn’t come to shame brokenness – He came to heal it!
The Real Gift We’re Meant to Give
At the end of the day, the greatest gift we give our families this Christmas isn’t the perfect experience.
It’s our presence.
Listening instead of fixing.
Grace instead of sarcasm.
Kindness instead of keeping score.
Love… not because it’s earned, but because it’s given. That’s the gospel in living color.
Christmas Is an Invitation
Christmas invites us to slow down, to gather, to forgive, and to reconnect. Not because everything is perfect… but because Jesus came anyway. So whether your Christmas is loud or quiet, joyful or complicated, polished or messy – take heart… God is always near, family matters, Love will always win, AND the Savior is still born… right into the middle of it all.
Merry Christmas!
